So, again, continuing where I left off with the last post: The last post was still on Day #5, and then I went on a tangent talking about other stuff. Since it has taken me more time to write about this whole experience to my blog than the time I actually spent at the psych ward, I’m going to try to focus on just what happened, without going into too much detail about my experiences or diving into other stories; I’ll revisit those experiences and stories after getting through writing about the psych ward, and writing about my current state.
So just to recap: I asked to write a quality of life survey where I mentioned I was experiencing hazing, which led to a meeting where it was suggested that I speak with “someone.” I was deceitfully and spitefully taken to the ER for “suicide,” and falsely and unknowingly admitted to the psych ward without a formal diagnosis. I met with doctors the next day and was told I was admitted to the psych ward “out of concern from my command,” which is not a medical diagnosis. I wanted to leave the psych ward so I asked for my belongings. The hospital refused to give me my belongings, so I asked to call law enforcement and 911, which they didn’t allow. I was held against my will and under false imprisonment, and voiced that I was peacefully protesting my presence there at the psych ward. I asked to file a grievance and to speak with the legal department. Before calling the legal department, a doctor told me I was being diagnosed with schizophrenia; which was an intentional misdiagnosis out of spite. I was also prescribed medication for this misdiagnosis, which I refused to take. I couldn’t reach the legal department. I called my sister to help me find more information regarding the legal authority the hospital had to keep me there at the ward, and to also help me find a lawyer. I spoke with a lawyer who wasn’t very helpful and was most likely colluding with people at the ward. Even though there were some positive moments there at the ward, I did experience quite a bit of harassment. There was a general effort to harm and hurt, and not to help or heal. I was taken to the psych ward out of retaliation for what I write to my blog, with an effort to have me medically separated from the military.
So, again with Day #5, I mentioned that I took the opportunity to speak with my one-to-one’s to tell my stories. I even mentioned to one of my one-to-one’s that they should feel very special because they were the first person I was telling a particular story to. So then I wake up the next morning, Day #6, and I didn’t get out of bed immediately. I started to hear some verbal harassment, some new things were being said, which led me to believe that there must have been a recent communication between my family and people at the ward. So I got out of bed to eat breakfast and I see a new nurse who I hadn’t seen before. This nurse looked like one of my father’s friends. This nurse asks me if I wanted to take my medication, and I tell him no, but I also say that I wouldn’t be surprised if this nurse was orchestrated to be there. This nurse tells me no, that they are scheduled to work part time every other Sunday. I’m not going to say why I believe this was orchestrated, all I’m going to say is that it was to intimidate and my father is a grown man with an imagination of a child. That morning, the bullying and harassment was a bit more stronger than usual. Now that I’m writing about it, I think I’m starting to realize why more clearly. So, the day before, I told my sister that I would try to have the lawyer speak with the on-call psychiatrist that day; Sunday. I wanted to at least try to have the lawyer speak with the weekend on-call psychiatrist, before the week started, where the lawyer would then speak with the medical team. Since this was all a sham, and the lawyer probably wasn’t actually a lawyer (or I don’t know, the lawyer has a website, something isn’t right), my effort to facilitate this phone call was starting to cause the people partaking in the sham to stress, because now, they would have to continue to make things up, and eventually it would become obvious that this was in fact a sham. So during the AM community meeting, I said I was in a decent mood, as always, and then said my goal for the day was to get more signatures to level up and to facilitate a phone call between “my lawyer” and the on-call psychiatrist. I didn’t get the best responses, and at the time, I thought it was because this lawyer could potentially have the hospital release me that day; silly me. Now, I think negative responses were because I was still making an effort with this sham, and the people partaking in the sham were still going to have to play along. Honestly, I was really hoping this lawyer was only playing along to soften the fact that the hospital was in the wrong. I haven’t contacted this lawyer since I left the ward, but this lawyer does seem to have a legitimate website, so we’ll see if this lawyer is really going to help me or not. Also, I need to make a correction. So I mentioned in a post that the only email my sister had with the lawyer was the initial email to start the conversation. I just went to my emails to review this email, and it actually is the email where my sister told the lawyer I was unable to reach him and the number to call me. So with that corrected, there was still some sketchiness when talking with this lawyer, the whole situation was sketchy; I even wrote on my notes to ask the lawyer “how can I trust you?,” which I never asked.
So, again, it’s Day #6, a Sunday, and to initiate the phone call between the lawyer and the on-call psychiatrist, I asked the staff members if my lawyer could speak with the on-call psychiatrist. Moments later, the lead nurse addresses my request by confirming it with me. I sense some insincerity with the lead nurse, but whatever, I was going to continue with the effort. About an hour later, the on-call psychiatrist sits with me to discuss this request. I sensed some insincerity with this on-call psychiatrist. This on-call psychiatrist was saying things like “lawyers don’t work on the weekend,” and I said that the lawyer told me I could call anytime. The on-call psychiatrist then asks me if I felt safe, and I explain how physically, I feel safe, but not from harassment, so essentially, no. Then the on-call psychiatrist says, “well I’m glad you feel safe,” and I had to say, “quote, unquote.” So the on-call psychiatrist basically told me they would speak with the lawyer, but thought it wouldn’t be of much help. I figured, whatever, it might not be of much help, but this is exactly what the lawyer requested; to speak with the psychiatrist in charge. So after speaking with the on-call psychiatrist, I asked to call the lawyer’s number. The staff were intentionally messing with the phone call placement. The lawyer answers the phone, and I explain that the on-call psychiatrist is willing to speak with them, but doesn’t think they would be of much help. I ask if the lawyer wants to speak with the on-call psychiatrist, or to wait until Monday for the main medical team. The lawyer tells me, yes, and then asks me if the on-call psychiatrist was reluctant; which seemed a bit odd, and I answered yes. So I end the phone call with the lawyer and then ask the lead nurse to have the on-call psychiatrist call my lawyer as soon as possible.
So while I waited for the on-call psychiatrist to call the lawyer, I called my sister, and updated her on the status of the situation. I didn’t spend too much time with her on the phone. So after that, it was just a matter of waiting, so I read and wrote as I waited. That morning, I could tell that the patients there must have spoken with people at the barracks I’m assigned to. The day I went to the hospital, I was supposed to stand watch that night, and I never showed up. I figured that the people at the barracks might have been concerned, since I never showed up, and was gone for several days. I also figured they might have known what was going to happen the whole time, since this was definitely planned; now that I’m back at the barracks, I’m convinced people did know what was going to happen, before it happened. Also, I might as well add that my sister mentioned that she sent me text messages, and since she didn’t get a reply, that she was concerned. I just looked through our text messages, and I don’t see any text messages from her during this whole situation; it’s possible that I never received the messages. My sister also told me that my other sisters were concerned that I wasn’t replying to their text messages. Coincidentally, my two other sisters sent me text messages the day I was admitted to the hospital. When I read those messages after leaving the hospital, it seemed like they knew that I was going to be admitted to a psych ward, and it also seemed like they were teasing. What’s more, I guess the sister I was talking to told my other sisters what was going on, that’s what she told me. When I replied to my other two sisters’ text messages, we were talking casually through text messages, and I had to ask them if they heard what happened; one sister was avoiding the discussion.
Anyway, after about four hours of waiting for the on-call psychiatrist, there was still no progress with making this phone call happen. Some time before the four hours, one of the nurses asked me about what I was writing. We then talked about the call between the lawyer and on-call psychiatrist. The nurse tells me it’ll probably happen tomorrow. I explain that the lawyer would like to speak with the on-call psychiatrist today. The nurse tells me they are still working on it. So, they were trying to annoy me, and I was aware of it. I guess I was also annoying them because I was still entertaining this sham. So, after waiting about four hours without any progress, I decided I’d call the lawyer to tell them I was still waiting. As I was about to ask to call the lawyer, a patient hops onto the phone, so I have to wait. I’m sure this was to try to annoy me. When the phone was available, I called the lawyer. The call went straight to the answering machine and people laughed ever so slightly to tease me. So it was becoming more obvious to me this was a sham. So since the lawyer didn’t answer, I called my sister to ask her to email the lawyer; this is the email she didn’t send by the way. According to my notes, I told my sister that people were being awful, perverted, and insulting. I told her that the people who are supposed to exhibit the strongest character are not. I understand their behavior more now. I continued to explain that I’m not in the wrong, and as long as I keep to myself, respect others and their rights, I won’t be in the wrong. I also said I have the law on my side. So, for these reasons, and more, this whole time, I wasn’t getting upset or angry. The only pressure I felt while being there was from missing class, but I stopped stressing about that, and let that go. Then once I understood that the lawyer situation was a sham and it wasn’t going to help my situation, I let that go as well. I got to the point where I realized that I said what I needed to say, and I wasn’t going to waste my energy repeating myself, unless I had to. My conversations with my sister even changed, eventually.
Anyway, so after that call with my sister, I decided to take a nap. Apparently, during my nap, the lawyer called. I asked the nurse for an update on the request to have the on-call psychiatrist call the lawyer, and I was getting the runaround. So when I returned the lawyers phone call, I said that my request wasn’t being taken seriously. Then I started to question the lawyer, asking what more information they needed, whatever they have requested, I’ve already answered. The lawyer says, again, that they want to speak with someone who can tell them what’s going on with me. I just replied saying I’ll do my best, and I haven’t spoken with the lawyer since. I asked the nurses one more time about the on-call psychiatrist. I then called my sister and we talked about clothes. Then during the PM community meeting, I said I was in a decent mood and I met my goals. One patient replies, “wait, what?” I didn’t even realize I didn’t meet the goals I said in the morning. In the morning I said my goals were to get more signatures and facilitate the phone call with the lawyer and on-call psychiatrist. I didn’t get any signatures because there weren’t any groups that day, and the phone call between the lawyer and the on-call psychiatrist never happened. So I guess I said I met my goals because I felt accomplished; it was clear to me that this lawyer trying to help me was a sham.
To be continued…