Since Thanksgiving just past, I thought about how I spent my last couple of Thanksgivings. Growing up, my family mostly spent Thanksgiving and other holidays with my stepmom’s family. Then I started driving, went to college, and started doing my own thing, but I’d say still, most Thanksgivings were spent with my stepmom’s family. Then eventually I started to distance myself from people in general, mostly because of the cyberstalking culture, and there were a lot of times I spent Thanksgiving by myself, on the Internet, and I really enjoyed it. Eventually, I was simply not invited to holiday gatherings, which was fine because I wouldn’t show up anyway. The only way I’d attend those gatherings is if those gatherings took place at my parent’s house, where I started living at again in 2017. I would mostly stay in my room even when these gatherings took place at my parent’s house and it was always a bummer when I realized that I wasn’t going to have the house to myself for a couple of hours. I can’t recall exactly how Thanksgiving of 2017 was, but I was still talking with my parents at that time, and I’m willing to bet that Thanksgiving my parents went to my stepmom’s parent’s house and I most likely didn’t attend. My stepmom’s family are good people, and treat me well, mostly, but after the cyberstalking started, I started to feel some tension. I made an effort to get along with my parents, but after a while, I tried to avoid speaking with them as much as possible. I’m sure they didn’t want me moving back home with them, but it would make them look bad if they told me I couldn’t move back with them, because they had been interfering with my employment the whole time I wasn’t living with them. Actually, at one point, I think it was in 2017, when I was unemployed, my stepmom’s father told me “don’t work” as I was shaking his hand goodbye. His English isn’t perfect, so I thought he was trying to tell me “don’t work… too hard.” He’s a nice guy, but he’d definitely support his daughter over me. So anyway, on Thanksgiving of 2018, my stepmom’s family shows up, and I had already anticipated them at my parents house because the dining room was prepared. I spent most of my time in my room, with my cat. Then, someone knocks on the door to my room and tells me that they are going to start the dinner prayer, probably my father. I didn’t want to participate in the prayer, I just wanted to get some food and eat in my room, but I decided that the polite thing for me to do would be to participate in the prayer. So after a couple of minutes, I walk out of my room to the dinning room, and everybody is already seated, except for probably my stepmom. When I approach the table, one of my parent’s dogs walks out from under the table. I questioned to myself, why would they let the dog even close to the table? It’s unusual for the dog to be underneath the table while people were seated, so they must have given the dog a treat, but why would they give the dog a treat from underneath the table? As I get closer to the table, my stepmom’s grandma is eyeing me, oddly. So yeah, this was probably orchestrated, by my parents, and everyone was playing along. So let me explain what’s going on here. As I’ve explained, my parents have had this ability to cyber stalk me, which has allowed them to interfere with my life and have some control of me. For example, they’ve interfered with my employment, they’ve given others this ability to cyber stalk me, and to this day they still communicate with people around me to channel some message to harass me; I can think of a couple of examples just within the last couple of hours. One of the things they want to have control of is my sex life, which kind of still continues. So one of the things my parents, including my sister, would implicitly suggest is if I wanted to have sex, to have sex with my stepmom’s grandma; which is my step great grandma. They still channel this idea via third party harassment with the people around me, from time to time; it’s been months since I’ve actually heard the people around me say my step great grandma’s name. The last time I heard people around me channel this idea, they played a song that has my step great grandma’s nickname. I’m sure I’ll hear this name again very soon since I’m writing about this.
Anyway, so when I sat down at the table, I didn’t feel too comfortable. After the prayer, food was passed around, and I sensed a lot of tension. I think the passing of food around what somewhat orchestrated too, and everyone was playing along. My younger sister was there, and she usually talks a lot, which was a good distraction. Then towards the end of the dinner, I started laughing uncontrollably, I don’t remember exactly why though. Then a year later, Thanksgiving of 2019, as soon as I realized that the dinner was going to be at my parent’s place, I left the house without saying anything, before anyone showed up, and spent the night at a hotel. Phew!