D Talks #32

So, I know I’ve already mentioned on this blog some of the things the cyberstalkers can do to control my iPhone. Not only has it been a year since I joined the navy, it’s also been more than a year since I’ve driven a vehicle. Also, living on base, I haven’t needed a vehicle and it’s rare when I’m in a vehicle. The reason I mention this is because after breakfast a couple of days ago, my iPhone’s Do Not Disturb While Driving feature was activated. From what I’m reading online, this feature is activated when the iPhone senses that you are moving as fast as a vehicle. So, there’s no way this feature should be activated. Is it just me who gets this feature activated when they are not moving as fast as a vehicle? The iPhone counts my steps, so if it senses that I’m walking, it should conclude that I’m not driving. So why do the cyberstalkers activate this feature? Well, it kind of hurts my brain to make sense of this, but they want to somehow allude to me that I should drive for a living. Cyberstalkers, will you stop degrading professions? There are starving people in China!

So revisiting the whole psych ward/false imprisonment/schizophrenia/misdiagnosis situation. So that one meeting I had with the psychiatrist, as I mentioned, was broadcasted live. I can’t recall exactly what I said, but people were helpful to remind of some of the things I mentioned. I recall that early in the conversation, I made an effort to mention that I love serving and being part of the navy. Seriously, despite all that I’m dealing with, the navy is not the problem; it’s the cyberstalking and the culture it’s fostered. Ever since I’ve joined the navy, even though the cyberstalking hasn’t stopped, I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in, and because of the bonuses that I got for having college credits and passing the physical fitness assessment, I have a positive net worth. I told the psychiatrist that I eat healthy and exercise almost every day. The morning of that day, I intentionally ran for an hour, so that I could tell the psychiatrist that I ran for an hour; nobody can tell me that I’m sick. I also retold the whole story of how I went from filling out a quality of life survey to being falsely admitted to the psych ward. I mentioned the stalking and harassment I’ve been experiencing. I also mentioned how I didn’t realize the reasons my family, friends, and others were discriminating against me, and how the discrimination started years ago. The discrimination went from covert to blatant. People got more comfortable being insincere and glass lighting. Now its just a culture of hate, and if it’s not for one reason, it’s another. So now, I’m like a human punching bag. The psychiatrist asked me about my employment prior to the navy, and I told the psychiatrist about the harassment and stalking I experienced, and how this culture has followed me to the navy, and poisoned the culture here. [I know I make typos, but as I’m rereading this draft to continue writing, there are missing letters from words, a lot more frequent and unusual; it’s the second time I’ve noticed.] As I’ve mentioned before on this blog, I was a forgiving person, but the abuse continued and I wish I never compromised. For example, I should have continued with my complaint with the DFEH a couple of years ago, but I let the situation go after the DFEH told me they were having issues with their phones. Or, I also had an employer who I didn’t try to seek any kind of legal remedy from because I didn’t want to burn any bridges. I later asked this employer for a signature, and this employer refused to help me. So, I no longer care about burning bridges, because I know I’m a good person. I no longer care about burning bridges because I no longer compromise with abusers. I no longer care about burning bridges because I know there are good people. I no longer care about burning bridges because morality is built into the fabric of our country. Although I didn’t say any of this reasoning to the psychiatrist, I did mention the Pledge of Allegiance, the Sailor’s Creed, “support and defend the constitution from enemies foreign and domestic,” and “in God we trust.” So sometime towards the end of the conversation, the psychiatrist told me that it appears that I feel like people are out to get me, or something like that. I didn’t want to agree with this because it kind of sounded like paranoia, so I told the psychiatrist that I didn’t like the way that sounded. So I clarified that what I was saying wasn’t impossible. I mentioned that the Nazis killed Jews; they locked them up and tried to keep it a secret. I then also mentioned that things were getting better; but the fact is, as long as this cyberstalking continues, all the other bad behavior will continue as well.

That’s as much of the conversation that I can recall. Then towards the end of that conversation, the psychiatrist asked me to fill out a mental health questionnaire, after I said that I was going to refuse treatment. This psychiatrist was mostly nice and respectful, however, this psychiatrist would say things under his breath, and I didn’t understand the reason for it. While I was filling out the survey, this psychiatrist whispered a couple of things, and I said aloud, “let me write that down.” Some of the words this psychiatrist whispered, according to my notes, were “off,” “broke,” and “depressed.” After filling out the survey, the psychiatrist tells me that it was time to bring in the lead psychiatrist or something, I guess to summarize everything. So this psychiatrist walks out of the office, leaves the door open, and people down the hallway are starting to say things to harass me, so I started voice recording. Then both doctors walked into the office, and before the conversation started, I asked if I could voice record the conversation, and the doctor had no objection. I edited the voice recordings to remove names and protect the privacy of others. Within these voice recordings, you’ll hear people down the hallway being immature and saying things to harass me. The voice recordings has the conversation between me, the psychiatrist, and the lead psychiatrist. Like I mentioned, these people were mostly nice and respectful, so I was confused as to the reason both the psychiatrist and lead psychiatrist were saying things under their breath, and you’ll hear it, it’s in the voice recording.

… After listening to the voice recording several times, I started to see things differently. The conversation is actually drastically revealing. Since I’ve already spent a couple of days drafting this blog post and editing the voice recording, and as of yesterday, my phone’s WiFi hotspot is all out of data, which means I can only blog from my phone now, which makes blogging more difficult, I’m going to post this blog and upload the recordings, and then create a separate page where I’ll write my annotations of the voice recording.

Here are the links to the voice recordings:

Here is the link to the voice recordings annotations page: