D Talks #34

So the next couple of things I’ll write about regarding the whole medical board process, which I shouldn’t even be going through, are the phone meetings I had with the therapist and the lawyer. So I actually voice recorded these phone meetings, so I’ll listen to these audio recordings and start to write about them afterward.

By the way, I recently received the medical records from the hospital regarding my most recent visit. One document is about 50 pages and the other is a little bit more than 100 pages. It’ll take me some time to get through all these pages, but I’ve read a couple of things that are just outrageous, false, and ridiculous.

Anyway, so I was scheduled to speak with a therapist as part of the outpatient plan. This therapist was very nice and patient, mostly; however, like most people I’ve dealt with throughout this situation, was just a tad insincere (I won’t upload the whole conversation, but I might upload a sound bite to demonstrate the insincerity). The therapist started by asking me if I was in a private area where I could speak freely and no one can hear information I’m sharing. Obvious to anyone familiar with my situation, I’m not; even if there were no cameras in my assigned room, there would be people with their ears pressed to the adjacent walls. I’m sure this therapist already anticipated me not wanting to partake in therapy, and it’s not because I don’t believe in therapy. I think therapy can be extremely beneficial, however, given the cyberstalking and the culture it has created, the therapist I’ve sought out before were corrupted by the cyberstalkers, so unfortunately, I could never find a trustworthy therapist to talk to about this cyberstalking. However, thankfully, I’ve met good people and have had great teachers who have given me what I’ve needed to get though the challenges I’ve encountered. On second thought, maybe I should follow through with therapy… or not… I’ll just write to the blog. Anyway, I’ll highlight a couple of things from that conversation.

So the therapist asked why I was referred and what I was looking for. I explained how this whole situation is a sham. The therapist then states that it seems like I don’t want or need therapy at this time. I agreed, and said that I’m healthy, and was healthy from the beginning. The therapist then states that it seems like I was open to therapy. I explained that I was cooperating with leadership to resolve the hazing, and if leadership thought I should speak with a counselor or something to mediate the conflict, I was willing to cooperate. However, it turns out the intention and motive was to falsely imprison me, out of spite. I now have a reason to not cooperate with whatever is suggested. So I was totally cooperative, but now that I see that there’s no formal, professional way that this hazing is going to be addressed, I kind of regret even mentioning the hazing at all. I should have just kept on writing to the blog. I didn’t mention the blog to the therapist. By the way, whatever happened with the quality of life survey where I complained about the hazing? Nothing. The therapist then asks if they helped me at all at the hospital, and if I believe it was anybody’s motive to help? I said no, not at all. A phrase I’ve been repeating is, I was taken to the hospital to be harmed and hurt, not helped or healed. I continued to be harassed at the hospital. I was misdiagnosed which is medical malpractice and gross negligence. Knowing what I know now, from reviewing the psych ward laws, being falsely admitted to the psych ward wasn’t just negligence, but gross negligence; in other words, they knew what they were doing was not legal, and they probably thought that I wasn’t aware this was not legal. I then said it was unfortunate that the hospital decided to play along with this. The therapist then asked what could have happened for me to have felt that I was helped? I asked if the therapist meant, like, a proper way to mediate the conflict? I had watched the Joe Rogan Experience, and a rapper from the Geto Boys mentioned conflict mediation, which was very fitting for the moment, and my situation. The therapist then asked, once I was at the hospital, once I reported what was happening, what was I looking for and what could have happened for me to have felt that I was being helped with the hazing. So I answered that this was not a medical issue and I should have never been taken to the ER. If leadership wanted to have me speak with a counselor, or chaplain, that’s one thing. I mentioned that I’ve taken conflict mediation classes, and this effort wasn’t to mediate or mitigate conflict. If leadership really wanted to help me, they should have properly conducted conflict mediation; whether that would be making an announcement regarding proper behavior, or a class on how to behave properly. The phone call ended soon after and the therapist said if I wanted to schedule a meeting, I could do so at any time.

So, again, the hospital didn’t help me at all, because this was an issue to be resolved with conflict mediation, not medical practices. This demonstrates how leadership failed to properly mediate conflict and how leadership is actually contributing to and part of the conflict. Being taken to and held at the hospital is a result of the bullying culture the cyberstalking has created. I wasn’t taken to the hospital to be helped or healed; I was taken to the hospital to be hurt and harmed, and there was a vicious effort to derange. And as I write this, I’m still being cyberstalked. I’ve spent a couple of days writing this, and I have been getting negative responses, including harassment. These people shouldn’t be stalking me to begin with.

So, on a different note, I was actually a conflict mediator, in the eighth grade. I took a class for conflict mediation, and then was a conflict mediator. Interestingly, I got into a fight sometime afterward, and I didn’t get in trouble for it, probably because it was uncharacteristic of me to fight. Even the way I fought this guy, you could tell I didn’t want to fight. A teacher shouted from a distance to stop fighting, and we stopped fighting. So why did I fight? Well, some guy made a comment to my sister, and she was offended. So my father pressured me to do fight this guy. He would threaten me and belittle me. Another example of how you don’t mediate conflict. I recall after the fight, I was one of two mediators for a conflict between two students. After that conflict mediation meeting, the counselor in charge of the conflict mediation program tells me and the other conflict mediator that the next conflict mediation meeting will be between my sister and this guy. I told the counselor that I couldn’t partake because my sister was one of the students. The counselor smiled at me, as if she knew that I had gotten into a fight with this guy. So I didn’t get in trouble, this was the eighth grade, I started to do better academically starting the seventh grade, and I continued to do better. I think I was already well on my way to being accepted to the charter high school I attended for at risk youth, however, I’m sure after this, I was no doubt the counselor’s first pick. You know what these two mishandled conflicts have in common? My father was involved.

Anyway, so I was also schedule to have a phone meeting with a lawyer as part of the medical board process. I actually didn’t sense much insincerity with this lawyer, maybe because he’s a lawyer. But then again, sometime after this phone meeting, I attended a class in the form of a teleconference, and I felt like people were being super fake. A couple of people explained the medical board process, including this lawyer, and I felt like I was being watched, for whatever reason (oh, you know what, the mute function on my phone wasn’t working even though I pressed mute, and I think my sister implicitly hinted to me that the mute button wasn’t going to work). I’m sure people here at the barracks were watching me. That class took more time than expected; about two hours or more. Both the meeting and the class were further reassurance that I shouldn’t be going through this process. Much of the material didn’t apply to me. I wrote my personal statement, and I mentioned that in order for me to be found unfit, I’d have to seriously pretend to be sick. So during the class, since much of the stuff didn’t apply to me, I turned up the volume and started being productive instead of just sitting. So I started shaving with an electric razor, I started exercising, etc. I voice recorded the whole class, so I’m sure I can comb through the audio recording and pick out a couple of thing to support this. So that was the class, but during the phone meeting, the lawyer explained the medical board process, briefly, and also suggested a couple of things. So even though I shouldn’t be going through this process, I gotta say that I feel like the military does help out service members. For example, I had another phone meeting with a representative from a veteran readiness and employment program a couple of days ago, and it sounds like a really great program.