1-24-22
Commute to Test
So, today I had to drive myself somewhere to take a test. Since I’m being cyberstalked, people around knew that I’d be driving today. Doesn’t that sound crazy? I literally have absolutely no privacy. I don’t speculate too much because I might just be wasting my time letting my mind play tricks on me. At this point, I kind of conditioned myself to ignore a lot. If an observation cannot be supported by objective evidence… or something obvious, I won’t speculate or over analyze. Overall though, it does seem like I’m being tracked during my drive. Same thing was happening when I was driving regularly several years ago. “Plotter” was a buzz word to allude to the tracking of me driving; it could just be me, but it seems like people wanted to show me a plotter today. Interesting thing about this is my family, my father specifically, the main cyberstalker, is thousands miles away, and I’m still being cyberstalked similar to the way I was being cyberstalked several years ago.
Anyway. So briefly, it seemed like I was being tracked and possibly harassed on the way to take the test. I arrived to my destination and walked to the front desk. I don’t remember the whole conversation I had with the lady at the front desk, I think it’s because it was still morning time. It seemed like she wanted to cheer me up by randomly saying a buzz word under her breath. This buzz word is “oso” and it means bear in Spanish. I don’t mind the cheering up, it’s positivity, but it wasn’t sincere and it’s sourced by the cyberstalking, similar to the phone call with building security in the last blog. There’s this pattern of behavior with the cyberstalking culture. It’s opposite of that “build me up buttercup” song. The behavior is a consistent effort to break me down to then cheer me up. Sometimes there’s no cheer up phase. I disapprove of this behavior. I disapprove of the break down efforts, and I disapprove of the cheer up efforts. It’s harassment, and I’d rather be just left in peace.
Anyway. So, oddly, I was told to return exactly when the test starts. I asked some logistical questions, but before they were answered, some guy pops out from the hallway and says to follow him. Which reminds me… there are some buzz words and allusion to a fallacy I eventually want to address; the buzz word is “list” and a white cargo van is used for the allusion. So this guy leads me to a back office, which seemed kind odd. I think it was to show me the plotter and to also implicitly say that I can only work in a back office because of the child abuse. This allusion to back office work has been around for a while, and it’s a misconception, and simply another way to harass. Surprisingly, even though this misconception has been alluded to for a while, I still haven’t done back office like work… whatever that is. Is it a role that doesn’t interact with many people? If so, sign me up! That was one reason I wanted to study computer science. There are many jobs that don’t require working with many people. So, I don’t know, I don’t get it. This stuff, this kind of harassment, used to annoy me, but it’s illogical, and now it’s like a toddler hitting my leg.
So shortly after waiting in that “back office,” … and again, that’s me speculating the reason for being led there…, someone else leads me to the test room. The test room was freezing cold, but worse, there were a group of people on the other side of a moveable wall partition verbally harassing me, indirectly of course. Even if they weren’t verbally harassing me, they were super loud. It was a terrible environment to take a test. The person who was setting up the computer tells me she’ll ask them to quiet down, and after doing so, they didn’t stop, the request wasn’t sincere, this person tells me she can ask them to move to a different room, but I could only anticipate them returning during the middle of the test to harass me. So I told the person setting up the computer to forget about. I told her it’s not a stress test, and I wasn’t going to stress myself for a test that I don’t need immediately anymore. I’m sure they were anticipating me doing just that, not taking the test, which is annoying.
…
1-25-22
Retaliation
This could be a coincidence, but I somehow stumbled upon this on YouTube:
So what might have led up to my cyberstalkers possibly wanting me to view this? Well, before I explain, I would say that my overall impression is, this is extremely abusive and seems to be in retaliation to me trying to peacefully defend myself. I would normally just ignore stuff like this, but… it’s been 10 years since this cyberstalking started. I’ve already written about some of the abuse and unhealthy behaviors I encounter. So I guess this is just to report and deter, because if I wasn’t being cyberstalked, if I didn’t endure child abuse, I wouldn’t be subjected to this treatment. Am I physically hurt? It appears not. Is this treatment healthy? Definitely not.
So why would I endure this recent treatment? One possibility is, there seems to be a serious flaw in the way this sham situation that I’m in is being handled. It’s something I recently learned about and I still need to look into, but it seems to be with bad intentions. (At the moment I’m recalling the No Fear Act.) (As I’m typing this, my roommate just entered the room. By the way, it’s a different roommate than before. He’s apparently been away. He entered the room, but knocked before he entered. So initially I thought it was building management. After entering the room, he then entered his bedroom, so then, I was sure it was him… but why would he knock? To harass, I guess, since the cyberstalkers know I’m writing this. Then the neighboring occupant says “pedo” before entering her room… I think she just whispered “break.”)
A second possibility is because I’ve been laughing a lot the last couple of days, sometimes hysterically. Since I’m being spied on in my living space, these cyberstalkers know about me laughing. I guess they can’t stand me laughing.
A third possibility is simply what I wrote in my last blog. I’m not sure exactly what, however, like I said before, I don’t compromise with abusers; this treatment isn’t going to make me stop writing, I’m just going to write more. There were efforts to make me blog and not vlog, but I knew as soon as I started blogging again, there were going to be efforts to make me stop blogging. For example, it seemed as though someone was trying to implicitly tell me to write with pen and paper, because it’s not like I can even take notes on this iPhone without, what seems like, (For some reason that swiping to type feature was just disabled. My ex girlfriend was a very fast iPhone typer, so this could be the reason the cyberstalkers are disabling this feature. As if to say, how dare I write about my ex girlfriend…) everyone seeing what I’m typing in real time. Then there are allusions for me to speak with a counselor or therapist, instead of blogging or vlogging to the Internet. This cyberstalking makes people evil control freaks. So I guess I’ll (the swiping feature was just enabled) revise this third reason to, stop me exercising my freedom of speech, even if that’s simply taking notes on my iPhone… that’s extreme. As I’m writing this, I still haven’t finished writing yesterday’s portion of this blog. I’m on the fourth paragraph… Yeah, I just reread what I’ve written so far and it seems like today’s behaviors were a reaction and retaliation to it. I wrote about the disapproval of the break down to build up behavior. Today it seemed like the reverse; a build up to break down behavior. Then a second “oh, yeah!” retaliation to the draft of this blog is the description of certain harassment as being hit by a toddler. Some harassment is like being hit by a toddler. Is some harassment extreme? Definitely! But I wasn’t talking about that kind of harassment. Like I mentioned in the last blog, my fight or flight response is activated at times. I deal with harassment on a daily basis, some is worse than others, and sometimes it’s bad, and I’ve written about it plenty.
So, regarding the treatment, what happened today? So, insincere behavior… then there was this one girl eyeing me; the “build up.” Did I trust it? No way! Did I get warm and fuzzy feelings from it? Possibly, but my logical thinking outweighs my sensors, and since I’m used to this deceitful behavior, I didn’t trust it. Then, more strangeness and fake ness. After being told to wait, it appeared obvious the person being waited on was intentionally having people wait for no apparent reason, other than it was part of the collective effort to harass me. Several people left. I tend to leave if I’m being verbally harassed or being told to wait for no reason. I try to be respectfully, and today I was trying to be respectful. When the respect wasn’t being reciprocated, I left. If I was mistaken, it would be evident later. I was convinced even more that the waiting was a collective effort to harass because as I was leaving… I park kind of far… it seemed like people who were waiting were now leaving. So I thought, whatever, this type of behavior isn’t new, and I usually don’t write about it because I have only so much time to write, and eventually, it’ll be repetitive.
Anyway, so eventually, I start preparing lunch. I licked the spoon, and it seemed kind of chalky. Could just be me… I thought it might be because of too much soap… and you see, as I’m typing this, my roommate says “that hurts”… and it’s actually really quiet right now. I didn’t think much of it of the chalkiness. Like I said, I don’t want to waste my brain energy over analyzing a situation. I’ll just take note and move on. Then eventually someone outside says something, or makes a sound to mock someone who’s hurt. Like a human whimper this time, and not a dog whimper like last time. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but then this person who spies on me started saying a bunch of buzz words, and I don’t remember any of them, but they were negative. See, just now she said “hurts” and she was super quiet moments ago. Then eventually I go on YouTube and see that short video above. I think people don’t want me to file an administrative claim for being falsely imprisoned, but there’s no way. First, I don’t see how it’s the concern of most people I encounter; it’s not like they were involved. Second, if I don’t take action to preserve my rights, people will continue to violate my rights. Third, this isn’t the first time my cyberstalkers have done something this bad, and I have plenty of examples. As a matter of fact, a buzz word I want to eventually address is “pressure washer.” It was said before I was falsely imprisoned.
So after seeing that YouTube short, and with the behaviors, I was like, you know what? I’m going to take an hour or so to write about this. There were allusions to the chalkiness on the spoon, and I would write about them, but it’s already been an hour and a half, and I still need to write up the harassment complaint.
…
It’s been a couple of hours since I stopped writing this blog. I’m now drafting this harassment complaint for the tampering of my vehicle, and I’m getting reactions. Most of the reactions are background noises. There were several reactions, but I can only recall two of the, probably three reactions. First, the person… well, I guess people now, since I just heard a male voice speaking through the vent, or wherever these people who spy on me are speaking through… are saying stuff. Second, someone down the hall slammed a door. By the way, doors are another allusion I think I’ve already written about, but probably haven’t yet described what it justifies. I’ll take note and write about it soon. Anyway, I do think the harassment today is to deter me from writing this complaint… one of the many reasons for the harassment today, but probably the main reason… I’m still drafting this complaint and a car alarm has gone off for a second time.
1-26-22
Retaliation to Harassment Complaint
So it does appear that much of the harassment from yesterday was to deter me from filing the complaint, which was sent last night. By the way, I just licked a spoon and it was a bit chalky again, so, it could just be me. Also, I’m convinced the person who I thought was my roommate entering the room yesterday, wasn’t actually my roommate entering the room. My roommate was away for the holidays, and when he returned, he was around for a day or two before he told me he was going to be away for a couple of months. So it was surprising, still, when I thought the person who strangely entered the room, knocking before entering, then entering the other bedroom, was this roommate. I never heard this person leave. I haven’t really heard this roommate too much except for the whispers I noted yesterday, and I haven’t heard this person since. So I’m convinced, one of the people who spy on me, noticed that I was drafting a blog, and to deter me from writing, they knocked on the door to intimidated me, entered the room, and then entered the other bedroom to act like they were my roommate. Crazy.
So, regarding the retaliation to the harassment complaint… I went to a morning meeting today. I drove there, and on my way, I took a turn, and my helmet rolled from one side of the vehicle to the other side. It could have been placed by a harasser (getting into my vehicle because they have the code) in a way so that it would roll when taking a turn. It could also just be me, right? However, given the harassment I deal with, it’s a possibility I can’t rule out totally. Upon taking this turn, I see a taxi, and this taxi company in particular, seems to work with the harassers to stalk and harass me. It just seems odd to me how this taxi company behaves, and I even tried to call them, but I was on hold for quite some time. Then I had to take a Lyft, and I’ve already talked about the harassment I experience with Uber and Lyft. Anyway, so I see the taxi, and I also just took note of it, because it could be a coincident, so I could be wrong, but it’s possible this taxi wanted me to see them, for whatever reason. So when the helmet moved, I wanted to look back and see the helmet to confirm it’s what moved, but I didn’t (someone just slammed a door and whispered something at the same time, so, my conclusions from these observations might be accurate). So after taking that turn, I drive some more, and I see some guy waiting to cross the street. He seemed to be paying more attention to his phone than to the vehicles on the road so he could cross the street. It was like, he was standing at a location to cross the street, but was on his phone, as if he was waiting for a ride. Then he randomly looks back. Why would he look back? Could be a coincident that he randomly looked back, but it was strange the way he did, and he was doing this right after I wanted to look back at my helmet. So when I saw that, it was kind of more convincing that someone entered my vehicle and placed the helmet so that it would move when taking a turn. Anyway, so I park and make my way towards the meeting. The wind was super cold, and my eyes tend to get watery when the wind is cold. Then I hear some woman whimper, “cry!”
So I enter the building, and people are standing in the way of where I usually stand. There was space oddly available somewhere else, so I figured I’d go stand there. I figured this was all part of the effort to harass me; the same harassment I deal with on a daily basis. I see a posting on the wall, and it’s something regarding police. This was probably to say, how dare I say “telling the police on the police” when speaking with the building manager. I could have said “telling your parents on your parents” or “telling authority on authority” but “telling the police on the police” is a much more common analogous phrase; it’s nothing personal. Anyway, so I stand there, and it doesn’t take long for the verbal harassment to start. People where probably saying stuff like “cry” “hurt” “soft” and stuff like that, and probably worse, because it was enough for me to say “… you people f**king suck…” This is something I don’t want to say, but, since this is in retaliation to a complaint I just filed which they shouldn’t even know of but do because of the cyberstalking, since it something I think they should hear, and since I wanted to verbally defend myself against a group of people, I said it. People got quiet, momentarily. People then continued to verbally harass. I would chuckle at how ridiculous the behavior was, while trying to be respectful to supervisors by waiting for the meeting to start. While waiting, there was this guy who is, no offense, not too tall. I’m not a tall person, but why would these harassers want me to see someone who is below average height. This allusion of short people started after boot camp. At boot camp, someone was verbally harassing me, and to verbally defend myself, I called him “short.” By the way, growing up, I had no idea height was an insecurity to some. Now, to this day, today for example, people will use that against me, as if I was the bully. Why would this be used against me? It’s used in the same way as the idea of coddling young adults to bully me, is used. I barely interact with people, so this idea of me being a bully to young adults makes absolutely no sense. I can’t even make total sense of that idea. So, just like using that idea against me makes no sense, using this idea of me calling that guy short for verbally harassing me makes no sense. Sure, I understand that might have hurt his feelings, and that was the point. I didn’t want to totally hurt his feelings, I just wanted to push back to deter any further harassment. If people wanted to cheer that guy up, do so, but don’t do it at my expense. So this idea of shortness actually goes beyond boot camp. This idea of shortness is to actually poke at my insecurities as well. I’m happy to explain this because it’ll show just how much this cyberstalking makes the cyberstalkers come to conclusions and spread rumors that make no sense… So, when the cyberstalking started, my stepmother was cyberstalking and monitoring my Internet activity. I was researching nutrition and how that affects height. I’m sure a lot of people have heard about how you can tell how the people of one country is malnourished vs another because of height. When I was in high school, my father made me believe that fasting was cool. That toughing out a fast was cool. The reason is because he didn’t want me to become muscular. One time I went without eating for 24 hours and told my friends about it, as if it was cool. Many times, I would only eat breakfast and dinner, and that’s about it, but there were actually a lot of times when I ate lunch. As a matter of fact, I would let people copy my homework, or just help them with homework, and they would give me food. My high school allowed students to go off campus, so I actually would eat out sometimes as well. Then, I think it’s actually kind of already known that I would fast when I was in college too. One time, again, I was talking about fasting pridefully as if I was tough for doing so. It wasn’t until this girl told me, “why would you do that to your body?” I was taken aback, and surprised, and realized… you know what, what am I doing to my body!? From that day on, I started eating lunch, everyday, and not just breakfast and dinner, and the occasional snack in between. But the cyberstalkers don’t know the full story… my side of the story. They just think that, specifically my stepmother, that since I was researching nutrition and height, that I was insecure about my height. Sure, I’ve had insecurities, at this point, I don’t know if I have any insecurities. Height might have been a slight insecurity, but not really. Actually, you know, my cyberstalker college friend talked a lot about height, and it seriously never made sense to me. My father actually gave me a lot of confidence being the short guy. You hear the story of David vs Goliath, and phrases like, “the bigger they are, the harder they fall.” So I actually wasn’t insecure about my height. I was happy to be the short guy and and prideful of it. But at the same time, height was such a minimal concern for me and something I never paid attention to. I actually didn’t realize that I was taller than my father. I was like a puppy who had grown full size but still thought they were small. So actually, you know, I don’t think height was ever an insecurity for me. Sure I might have been called short and the intentions might have bugged me, but that’s about it. So, given the cyberstalking abilities, people cyberstalk and make conclusions without having a full understanding. So, now, I guess there’s this rumor that I somehow had a height insecurity, which is false. I did have concerns that fasting might have affected my health growing up. As a matter of fact, I did this research right after I bought a weight set, and you also hear people say that if you lift weights, it might affect your height, so I was motivate to do research. So I did some research, and couldn’t really draw a conclusion. Knowing what I know now, I think that fasting probably wasn’t the best for my health, but I ate everyday, and so I probably wasn’t malnourished, so it probably had no affect on my health. Then in addition to this, I had a karate instructor who taught me a lot and coached my mindset. Then, while I’m on this topic, it was also around this time that I told my stepmother that my ex girlfriend told me I had skinny arms. She did make fun of my skinny arms, but it wasn’t something I was seriously offended by, I was actually more surprised than anything. I told my stepmother this while talking to her about my recent break up. This ex girlfriend also told me I had a small penis, but she would also tell me I had a big penis… just like harassers call me a pedophile, and then tell me I’m not a pedophile. I wasn’t going to tell my stepmother all of that, but one thing is for sure, and that is, I totally regret speaking with my stepmother about my relationship with my ex girlfriend because she has used that information against me and even reached out to females I follow on Instagram to make fun of me, which now seems to be the norm.
So anyway, after waiting for about 10 minutes, the meeting didn’t start, and as I mentioned before, I’ll leave if I’m being harassed, and I figured this was another collective effort to harass, so I left.
1-27-22
Demonization
Yesterday the cyberstalkers saw what I was typing, so a supervisor spoke with me regarding the reason I left the meeting early. I told this supervisor it was because of verbal harassment. Today things were different. I’d say things were better, but then again, I can’t say that because I’m still being cyberstalked and still verbally harassed. I can deal with verbal harassment and verbally defend myself, but when the verbal harassment, or just harassment in general, is a result of being cyberstalked, that is not acceptable. Sure, there was an effort to mitigate the verbal harassment. How sincere was it? I’m not sure. The cyberstalking hasn’t stopped. For all I know, the efforts could be temporary to deter me from posting what I’ve written so far because it gives a sense of demonization. I’m not out to demonize anybody, I’m just writing about this cyberstalking experience. For example, I’m really not sure if the cyberstalkers wanted me to view that YouTube short or not. I specifically wrote “might have wanted me to view” that YouTube short. To provide even more allowance for doubt, I encountered that YouTube short by accidentally clicking on the button to view YouTube shorts. I was actually trying to click the home button. It’s only allowance for doubt though. What’s more, even though I do want to be empathetic, and not post something that would make the cyberstalkers look bad, I can’t. I won’t compromise until this cyberstalking stops and I have absolutely no reason to write about this cyberstalking experience. I wrote what I wrote, if I need to make clarifications, I will, but I’m not going to be empathetic to the cyberstalking or compromise with abuse.
So today, on my way to work, I see several fire truck lights. What do fire truck lights, and sirens in general, symbolize? They symbolize this fallacy that I have a bad temper. Again, it’s a fallacy. For example, I wrote earlier in this blog that I said “… you people f**king suck…” I’m sure it hurt their feelings, and I actually wouldn’t be surprised if it was recorded. Given the defamation of me with this fallacy the cyberstalkers spread and use to further harass me, I know some might think I said this angrily or aggressively. Or you know… since this is a fallacy, I’m sure the initial impression is this was said angrily, but given my character, there’s a better chance that it wasn’t said angrily. It was not said angrily or aggressively. I actually kind of whispered it. I tried to convey that with the “…” So again, these fire truck lights seeming to be shown to me is just a suspicion. But what makes me more sure? Well, today, and even yesterday actually, people were verbally harassing me at the gym. They are not the same people I meet with. By the way, when I was being indirectly verbally harass by people at the gym yesterday, it seemed like people on TV were also implicitly verbally harassing me; it was as if the cyberstalkers were telling them words to say to gaslight me, essentially. It made me wonder if the people on TV were aware of the people who were indirectly verbally harassing me at the gym. It’s like, I’m being indirectly verbally harassed at the gym by people I don’t know, and the same people driving this harassment are also working with people on TV to implicitly verbally harass me. Crazy. Anyway, but today though, there was this one guy, and a couple of other people, but one guy specifically, who was indirectly verbally harassing me, and he was actually getting kind of aggressive, to try to make me angry, so that I would reply with something angrily, to demonize me. Seriously. I’m smart and I’m aware of the intentions. If anything, I think this is called reactionary abuse. People who try to provoke a negative reaction from someone they are targeting with offensive behavior, and then demonize the reaction. I’m aware of this. Anyway, I didn’t react. I stayed peaceful, and I want to carry myself like the intellectual that I am. Then some more people were verbally harassing me, and even stalking me. Like I mentioned before, there was a time when I went to the gym and stalkers knew the piece of equipment I was going to use next because of the cyberstalking, and it’s happening again. But I stayed calm and polite. Some guy asked me a question, and I was surprised at how effortless it was for me to be respectful and polite. Soon after, this same guy was indirectly saying stuff to me. What for? I don’t know. But I ignored it. Some might see this as me being weak, but I see this as me being confident. What’s surprising is, this guy was older than me. Probably old enough to be my father, and was behaving in this manner. Seriously, I wonder about some people. I had no negativity in me, and I don’t know where these people get that negative energy from, but you’d think they would have the maturity to behave much better. Let’s just say I wasn’t being cyberstalked, and life was normal… I don’t know if that kind of person would be my friend… I don’t know. Dude… I think it’s because I’m famous.
1-28-22
Work
So, I’ll just call this segment, and future segments, “Work” since I’m writing about my experience being cyberstalked at work. To update from what I’ve written in this blog already, today the verbal harassment was much less. I was still verbally harassed, but I wasn’t bombarded with verbal attacks.
Later, I went to the gym at work and I was the only one there. It seemed planned. Like, how dare I write about the behavior of others at the gym. Then, I got this idea that people were excusing their behavior suggesting it was to motivate me. I don’t think the intentions are to motivate. I think it’s just a guise to harass. I’m not motivated by verbal harassment or disrespect. Then, just from the content on Instagram and YouTube, which is most likely controlled by the cyberstalkers, it’s almost as if the cyberstalkers wanted me to compromise with the harassment just to have someone around, for gym safety, like if I needed a spotter or something. Sure, having someone around is good for gym safety, but I don’t max out or do dangerous exercises, so I don’t really need anybody around. Then it seems like (and it’s just strange how this cyberstalking and gaslighting culture works) my high school friend who is or was in the country illegally, who also went to karate school with me, was encouraging this harassment in the guise of motivation. I’m sure he know his intentions aren’t good, and if he doesn’t, then probably some critical thinking might help that realization. If he sincerely thinks that this harassment is motivation, I think he just didn’t understand our karate instructor. So nobody was at the gym today, which could be a coincidence, but it’s probably more likely that it was a reaction to what I’ve drafted so far in this blog, which can be seen by the cyberstalkers because of cyberstalking abilities created by big tech cyberstalking enablers.