D Talks #78

03-02-22

Instagram Ads

So, again, Instagram is one of the many cyberstalking enablers to the cyberstalking culture. One way the cyberstalking culture harasses me via the Instagram mobile application is by choosing which advertisements to display. Today during one of my Instagram sessions, there were more ads than usual: 8 ads out of about 35 posts. There might have been more ads the cyberstalking culture wanted me to see, but I didn’t go any further. I’m recalling now that back in mid 2017, to the Instagram application would crash on a Mike’s Hard Lemonade advertisement; my employer’s name was Mike and the application crashed on that ad several times.

Ad #1

I’m not exactly sure what the cyberstalking culture is trying to convey implicitly with this ad. It might be in reference to a fitness influencer who recently passed away, which I learned of today, via YouTube.

Ad #2

I’m also not exactly sure what the cyberstalking culture is trying to implicitly convey with this ad either. “Buzz” could possibly allude to drinking alcoholic beverages. Ad #1 is of an alcoholic beverage and so is Ad #4. Oh… I think I get it now. The cyberstalkers are trying to implicitly convey the night of the attack and the results they wanted from that night. See, so the night started by drinking alcoholic beverages (Ad #1 and #2). I mentioned how the cyberstalking culture expressed their exclusionary sentiment of me (Ad #3). My father was much more involved in the night of the attack than I thought initially (Ad #4). The cyberstalking culture wants me to apologize for the child abuse (Ad #5). The cyberstalking culture wants me to be a nervous wreck (Ad #6). The cyberstalking culture wants me to live in and be controlled by fear (Ad #7). The cyberstalking culture wants me to acknowledge my father as my master and wants me to work with my father so he could prosper from my efforts (Ad #8). My understanding and interpretation might change with time…. wow, I now think this ad might be referring to the buzz word “check” that I mentioned in vlog #33.

Ad #3

Ad #3 is probably to convey how the cyberstalking culture is upset that in the last vlog I mentioned the small American flag that was in the background of the photo my aunt took of my cousin and I, in addition to mentioning how my cousin speaks Spanish, and how this was to implicitly tell me that I’m not part of their culture… whatever that means because culture is very fluid. By the way, I had no idea the cyberstalking culture was even trying to convey the exclusionary sentiment they have of me the night of the attack. It was only with time that I understood I was being excluded and outcasted, not temporarily, and took time to think of cultures and why I wasn’t being accepted, overtly. I’ll go into detail later, but basically the cyberstalking culture feels, or felt, like they are, or were, excluded from American culture, which is a misconception, because as long as you subscribe to American values, nothing else matters. However, they considered me “White” or “Americanized.” All I’ll say about that for now is… review Martin Luther King Jr’s quotes. “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” … not that one… the one where he says something about being judge on content of character and not appearance or culture. I know what the cyberstalking culture want, or wanted … they want, or wanted, to feel included, accepted… and they didn’t understand why it appeared that I’m widely accepted… they’ll pointed to appearance and culture and say they are being discriminated against and that I shouldn’t be accepted because I’m a bad person.

So what does the cyberstalking culture have in common with others now, after almost 10 years of the cyberstalking? Targeting me, essentially. Now people who didn’t feel accepted before, feel accepted now because now the cyberstalking culture has grown and includes many walks of life, people of any and every appearance and culture. That acceptance could have been accomplished with taking some pride in the American flag and American values; the larger overarching American culture. Is the cyberstalking culture widely accepted? I’d argue that it’s not. The cyberstalking culture is very popular, but not widely accepted. How could it be? The cyberstalking goes against American values, goes against the cohesion of American culture. So, hopefully now everyone in the cyberstalking culture realizes appearance and culture doesn’t matter; everyone should feel accepted because everyone is equal. I’m getting recent feedback from people in the cyberstalking culture who are upset because I’m talking about the night I was attacked and it’s making the cyberstalking culture look bad, because it was an act of discrimination and a hate crime. So now, how can the cyberstalking culture become widely accepted, now that it’s understood that subcultures and appearance obviously doesn’t matter? I’d probably default to saying understanding American values (freedom, individual rights, all men are created equal; rights to life, liberty, and happiness) and assimilating to American culture. That would be the first step. Now once assimilated to American culture, does that mean any one person will be widely accepted by every subculture? No. To some extent, yes, because American culture is a commonality, but there are so many subcultures so there’s no way any one person can resonate perfectly with every subculture. Differences must be acknowledge and accepted. For example, in some cultures it’s okay to have tattoos, and in other cultures it’s not so okay. You can’t expect to be tatted like a gangster and become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company; or you could, but it would be a lot more difficult. My suggestion to people is to chose a culture or style that can easily blend with the larger culture and subcultures. For example, even though tattoos are becoming more accepted, it’ll probably be safer to not have any visible tattoos. Practice cultural awareness and also make some compromise. For example, one day my cousin picked me up in his car. I was living in a neighborhood where there were mostly quiet elderly people. My cousin was blasting music, and it wasn’t American pop music, but even then, it was still loud. As we’re driving, he tells me, “Look, you see the way they are looking at me?” as if he was being discriminated against. I told him it’s because his music was loud. In his neighborhood it might be ok to play super loud music, however, in this neighborhood, it wasn’t. That summer this cousin continued to express his unhappiness with what he thought was discrimination. He and I went to a convenience store in San Francisco. Some Caucasian guys were behind us joking around and grabbed something from a shelf. The Asian lady at the counter scolded at them to put back whatever it was they grabbed, and told them they were too drunk. They put back whatever was grabbed. One guy told the other guy, “remind me to never come to this store again.” The Caucasian guys left, and my cousin and I were waiting in the store while waiting for a taxi. After the Caucasian guys left, I guess my cousin resonated with her discriminating, that of which I was oblivious to. He turned his back towards me and faced the Asian lady and says “I hate White people!” making her discrimination now more clear to me. The Asian lady looked at him, almost now regretting her scolding at the Caucasian guys, because now her behavior was looking racist. I found my cousin’s statement odd and I was surprised because I realized he was implicitly calling me White and expressing some hate towards me. Why was he calling me White? This cousin of mine has a lighter skin complexion than me. Why would he hate on White people when he and I have cousins who are literally half Caucasian? He was basically saying he dislikes the fact that he doesn’t feel accepted, mostly because he heavily subscribes to a subculture that doesn’t easily resonate with other cultures. I think he was also a bit envious with my achievements and blaming my achievements on some supposed White privilege. That same summer, he had me “jumped” by a group of White people; it was verbal, but he wanted to have me attacked by White people to make me feel inferior to White people. It was that same reason I believe my ex girlfriend’s stepdad pulled some strings to have me work at a start up; so that I could be around White people, and feel inferior, as if to make me feel like I wouldn’t be good enough to study computer science. Did I easily resonate with these people? Not really. I was definitely of a different cultural background, with some similarities, and I’m mostly introverted, more extroverted at parties, but I’d already been around and socialized with many kinds of people. I’m okay with being different, but I also try blend in with various subcultures. I listened to some of their music, most of which was new to me and music I never listened to. Now some of that music is favorited on music playlists. That’s another thing too, when you spend time with different cultures, it’s only natural to become part of that culture. I think someone just whispered “be who you are.” I’d say sure, but don’t expect to easily resonate with other cultures. Try to assimilate some, acknowledge cultural differences, and make some compromises. Or learn how to socialize or interact with people of all walks of life. Be adaptable, if you want. I’d also say most people are accepting, but acceptance isn’t the same as resonating. I’d also say to love yourself, stop worrying about being accepted, and if you want to be popular, do what’s popular. I’ll refine this understanding more and write more clearly about it later. I could be wrong, this is my understanding for now.

Ad #3 is of Mexican food, but more like Mexican American food.

Ad #4

This used to be one of my father’s favorite spirits.

Ad #5

Pistachios allude to the show Curb Your Enthusiasm where the main character calls to apologize to someone, but the person who he’s apologizing to can’t make out what he’s saying because he’s not speaking clearly because he’s also eating pistachios. Essentially, my family wants me to call home and apologize for the child abuse… kind of reminds me of a time when my father was upset with me and yelled at me and I walked away and didn’t talk to him for a couple of days until my stepmom drove me to where my father was working and basically told me to apologize, and I didn’t even know what I was apologizing for and still don’t know what I was apologizing for, and you know how he responded?… he started laughing! Which confused me because he was just angry and upset seconds before… am I repeating myself? I think I am… I don’t even know the words to describe that behavior… evil, I guess. Anyway, that’s essentially what would happened if I called and apologized as the victim to their abuse. You don’t see me making demands for an apology.

Sister alluded to this ad earlier today, before I saw this ad.

Ad #6

This is kind of bad, but essentially the cyberstalking culture wants me to do a vlog where I appear as a nervous wreck. Skittles alludes to… someone famous.

Ad #7

Basically upset that I portrayed people back at home, my employer in the last vlog specifically, as thugs… by the way, I’m sure this employer was taking cues from my father.

Ad #8

Not sure what this is about, but probably to suggest that I need to leave my military boots for construction boots and work with my father, dehumanizing me and suggesting I’m my father’s dog, or slave, and he is my master… my family has Siberian Huskies.

I went on Instagram later the same day and the ads were much more random.

[03-04-22: I went on Instagram yesterday and was scrolling through the feed and there was an ad that caught my attention. I realized I scrolled through several photos and unconsciously ignored several ads. I counted the ads, and there was about one ad for every five posts. It made me wonder if I was mistaken when saying there were more ads than usual in the tweet that led to the writing of this blog. I could be wrong about there being more ads than usual. It could be more accurate that there were just more ads that grabbed my attention. I noticed I was also tired when realizing I had scrolled past and ignored several ads, which may have also been a reason I ignored the ads. Whatever the matter, I still believe these ads were chosen by the cyberstalkers to convey a message to me as the cyberstalkers actively control the Instagram application.

During the same IG session I scrolled through the explorer page and noticed the cyberstalkers probably controlled the explorer feed, more so than usual. I could have taken screenshots and wrote about it, but I was exhausted. On second thought, I probably should have taken screenshots because the feed displayed photos in a very similar way in which the photos of the 17 year old were being displayed in the explorer feed in 2016. One of the 17 year old’s photo is of her in jeans, and she has wide hips; very similar to my aunt who mistook my dance move as a twerk request, very similar to my employer’s wife, and somewhat similar to the girlfriend I had in high school. Actually, I went through some photos the other day and here is one of them:

My senior year of high school, 2005-2006. My high school girlfriend is wearing the grey hoodie. 17 years old.

So the explorer feed yesterday had a photo of some girl with wide hips in jeans. I thought it was kind of odd because it kind of resembled that 17 year old, who is now 23 years old by the way. I scrolled some more and saw the very same picture, which was odd, again. I figured the cyberstalkers were controlling the feed, as they usually do. I scrolled some more and saw a photo of a cow tongue, and next to that photo was a photo of a girl shushing with her finger. How did I interpret that? My best guess is this employer in phase 12 of the cyberstalking isn’t happy that I portrayed him as the thug he was behaving like, in the last vlog when discussing the use of the buzz word “check.”

To review, as I mentioned in the vlogs, in 2016 the cyberstalkers were flooding the IG explorer page with the 17 year old’s photos. I thought it was strange, I sent her a message, I found out she was 17 years old, and I soon ended the conversation, not replying to her last message, which was a question. I was getting feedback from the cyberstalking culture, which included this employer and coworkers. I figured it was another catfish scheme by the cyberstalking culture. I needed to gather more information, to figure out this cyberstalking, as I still didn’t understand how the cyberstalking was actually happening. I did some research, and determined as long as I didn’t meet up with this 17 year old, I’d be legally safe. I continued the conversation via Twitter, and gathered more information. I got more reactions and feedback from the cyberstalking culture… and even the Internet. I actually recall one time she sent out a tweet, and it had something to do with the mentioning of a body type. I believe people on the Internet replied by saying she was body shaming, which she wasn’t, and she seemed to have quickly apologized. After that I figured, or was even more sure, that I was getting a lot of attention online, and more. So the cyberstalking culture, the Internet, were all observing this conversation, and I was still trying to figure out what was going on. The cyberstalking culture’s intentions of the scheme weren’t working; they wanted to put me in a bad light, and I was only gaining even more attention. To impose the intentions of this scheme, and to essentially rob me of the attention I was getting, they used this scheme and more to justify the attack of me. You know what’s surprisingly strange? I still don’t technically know exactly why my cousin attacked me. My understanding of the night is all through interpretations. The hate and jealously of the cyberstalking culture is what fueled the efforts to plan the attack, and it’s so evident to me now, and it’s so evident to everyone observing and getting a precursor to the vlogs because as I’ll get to soon in the vlogs, some of the symbolisms and allusions during the night of the attack are to the attention I was getting from females, years before the cyberstalking even started. I don’t even think the people who wanted to make this allusion were conscious of the ridiculousness of their own hate and jealously. So basically, the reasons for the attack were really due to the hate and jealously of the attention I unknowingly had for years, and I was just gaining more attention and fame, despite the fact that the intentions of the cyberstalking were to cause me harm.

So what does this have to do with this employer in question? Well, he was involved in the attack. He knew it was going to happen and even alluded to it. I’ll explain more later, but it seemed like he regretted being involved, because the police ended up getting involved, and he had been talking to the police regarding me… … During that time the number system that the cyberstalking culture uses to implicitly message was developing. I believe he chose the number “2” to allude to 2Pac, since 2Pac had issues with the police, and he wanted me to have issues with the police. His response to rid himself of any involvement was to have the police stage a shooting and I’ll talk about that later. I should also mention that I asked for a raise, and I got a substantial raise, but I was terminated under pretext a couple of months later, and the cyberstalking continued after the raise… … Anyway, to justify his involvement, he did so by saying that I was chatting with this 17 year old, which is so unreasonable… unreasonable people literally make my head hurt. First of all, how did he know? He was cyberstalking and he was involved in the scheme. What’s more, the whole Internet knew of this scheme! So if the cyberstalking culture wanted to use this as the reason to attack, the whole Internet was watching, the whole world would see how nonsensical and evil this attack was. Anyway, so the cyberstalkers, with those photos, are trying to use that nonsense to silence me, as this employer is probably starting to look bad… and unfortunately, I think this employer is going to look worse after I talk about the night of the attack, which is probably being anticipated. In addition to those photos, to help this employer intimidate me, the friend who I reached out to at the end of 2015, who also helped this employer harass me in 2016, is using the cyberstalking culture, and his ethnic cultural network to harass me. I’ll eventually get to talking about tribalism and how the cyberstalking culture uses tribalism, which is sometimes racism, to intimidate and harass me. If you want to learn more about tribalism, listen to Victor Davis Hanson.

Anyway, while I’m on this topic, I might as well mention a couple of fallacies the cyberstalking culture subscribes to. Again, they are fallacies, so they don’t make sense. So I’ll start by making clear that this employer now has a reputation. He now has the reputation of being the employer who was involved in having his employee physically attacked… for chatting with a 17 year old, not to mention that he was involved in the cyberstalking culture. Anyway, so I joined the military. In the military, 17 year olds can join with the permission of their parents. When I was at boot camp, there was a senior guy in charge, and he kind of looked like this employer. Now, for some reason, people say his nickname to allude to this employer, but specifically because this employer justifies his involvement in the attack because of the 17 year old. I could try to explain this unreasonableness more clearly, but my head is starting to hurt.]

03-04-22

Roommate

So I’ve lived in my current assigned room for almost a year now. The room has two individual bedrooms with a common area. When I moved in, there was someone already living in one of the bedrooms, and I wrote about this specific roommate plenty. That roommate move out towards the end of 2021. He was gone for sometime before a new roommate showed up. It was somewhat odd how this second roommate moved in. He didn’t have many belongings, and I’m not sure what else, but it seemed like he was only moving in temporarily. He wasn’t living in the room for long before he went home for the holidays. He was away for quite sometime, I’d say more than two weeks. He retuned from vacation sometime early January 2022. He was only around for a couple of days before he told me he was going to be away for a month.

A couple of blogs ago, I mentioned that while I was drafting a blog, someone entered my assigned room, while I was in my assigned bedroom with the door closed. This person knocked on the room door as if they were from building management before they actually entered the room, and then entered the other bedroom and closed the door. I wrote how this was to intimidate me. My roommate was supposed to be away, and if it was him returning, it would be strange to knock on the door before entering the room. I heard whispers from that person who was in the other bedroom. I never heard this person leave and my roommate wasn’t around afterwards. So I was convince someone, one of the cyberstalkers, saw that I was drafting a blog and wanted to intimidate me.

Time passes, and my roommate hadn’t returned. I was anticipating his return as it had already been a month or so since he left. On February 22nd, a building manager enters my assigned room, knocking before entering, to check on the room to see if any repairs were necessary. She inspected the kitchen and the other bedroom, but not the bathroom area or my assigned bedroom. When she entered the other bedroom she mentioned this roommate “left a note.” It seemed like she was making allusions, and I was wondering about her true intentions of entering the room, which could have been sincere, but don’t seem to be, at least entirely. Why would this roommate leave a note? I believe she was making an allusion to a suicide note.

On February 27th, I was in the kitchen and I hear the electronic lock to the door of the room activate. I figured it could be this roommate returning, and if so, I was expecting him much sooner, if not at all, since this roommate being assigned to this room started to seem like a sham. It seemed like he took his time to allow the electronic lock to lock again, so that he could knock on the door, just like that person who entered the room to intimidate me. Whatever the case, I heard the electronic lock unlock, followed by a couple of knocks, then the electronic lock unlocked again, and he entered the room. The interaction was odd and he didn’t seem sincere. An hour or so later, while passing each other in the common area, he ran his fingers through his hair, much like the college friend who was cyberstalking back in 2013 would. I’m sure my interpretation of that allusion is accurate.

On the morning of February 28th, I made a different breakfast than I usually make to avoid using the blender, to not make a lot of noise, since this roommate had returned. I went to work, and returned later that day. After I returned, building management entered the room once again, knocking before doing so, to do some other kind of inspection. They inspected the other bedroom, the common area, but again, they didn’t inspect my assigned bedroom. Why was there another inspection? Why didn’t either inspection include my assigned bedroom? It was strange, but I didn’t know how to interpret it, if it was to implicitly convey something to me.

This roommate returned on February 27th, and I haven’t seen him since. He could have been in his bedroom on the morning of February 28th, but I never saw him leave, and it doesn’t seem like he was in his bedroom when building management was conducting another inspection.

I believe this second roommate being assigned to this room was a sham from the start. I’m not exactly sure why. However, I believe the recent charade was to allude to the college friend who was cyberstalking in 2013, as if to say my vlogs are pushing him to suicide, which I think is dramatic. My intention is not to cause anyone harm. This tactic is used by some to control others; threatening of suicide. Actual self harm is another tactic to accomplish the same goal. This behavior is hypocritical. Even before I mentioned this cyberstalking college friend in blogs and vlogs, he was third party bullying via the cyberstalking network, and still does. I believe this would be considered selfish narcissistic behavior, which is actually very characteristic of the cyberstalking culture. I’m a forgiving person and I seriously don’t want problems with people. I believe everyone is capable of redeeming themselves.