Vlogging
So there was a backlash to Vlog #38. I started to think about what motivated me to start vlogging. I started vlogging to put a voice and face to the blogs. The vlogs were to be a video version of the blogs. Starting the vlogs, I wasn’t sure what to focus on. Eventually, I focused on the history of the cyberstalking, and how it took hold of my life.
I wanted to put a voice and face to the blogs to show that I was a humble person with good intentions, because I believe I was being mischaracterized. I thought the negativity was uncalled for and unfair, as I am being cyberstalked and targeted. I wrote that people were harassing me to make me appear weak in the vlogs, and that I’d still vlog regardless of the efforts. I’m not someone who would typically vlog or be social online. Every time I wanted to miss a vlog, I’d remind myself that the cyberstalking is still occurring and I vlog to resolve the cyberstalking; I’m being oppressed and it’s one way for me to regain my freedom.
The vlogs were an opportunity for me to show that I was a humble person with good intentions. Unfortunately, there has been a consistent effort to deter me from vlogging, and even blogging. The recent backlash was an intense effort. I missed the 2 week routine. I could have vlogged, and the vlog could have gone well, or not. It would be a typical reaction for someone to “fight back” and be defensive to the backlash, but, the reality is, I actually do not want to fight, and I do not want to have problems with anybody. I could have ignored the noise as much as I could and stayed the course, but would that be humble of me? I thought if I didn’t vlog, it would be another demonstration of humility and maturity.
With that said, I’m not sure if I have to prove that I’m a humble person with good intentions anymore, so I’m not sure if I’ll continue vlogging… I’m definitely going to take some time off though.